by ~disposable-heroX
i was browsing through some pictures in a web. with malaysia being caught up in the world of capturing-life photography, seeing people in their candid moments; there is an abundance of beautiful pictures that can get you staring at them for hours at times.
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remember back when we were in sekolah rendah? maybe at about standard 6. or perhaps the earlier years of high school. form 1 maybe? where you were starting to realize that opposite attracts. where you get this whole 'kirim salam' and 'saya-minat-awak-so-awak-minat-saya-balik-boleh?' phenomenon.
it's those years where the hormones are there, but not quite enough to last the 'kirim salam' phenomenon, because it was also the time when you hate the opposite sex too. i myself didn't experience this first-hand, as i was in an all-girls school during the first 3 years of highschool. but from friends' reminisces, it was the time that talking to boys is a crime! funny, but true isn't it?
remember back when during those times in class, when you mistakenly reached for the same paper, and the tip of your fingers brushed with the slightest amount of surface area as possible. what happened then? it's as if there is an electric shock ain't it? wham! tarik tangan faster than a blink of an eye. on one occasion, one of my guy friend was so shocked that he hit both his knees under the table, causing the table to jump. quite a funny reaction i guess. and then you both will be like; "eh sorry sorry sorry" and embarrassed for the next few days and hoping that he will forget about it soon enough.
beautiful isn't it? how our fitrah works. to a certain extent, at that age, you already KNOW that touching a non-mahram's skin, intentionally, is a sin. but that reflex was definitely not planned right? it comes naturally. it's fitrah.
but what happens when a few years later, nafsu takes over this fitrah. nau'dzubillah. no more reflex. no more trails of sorry-sorry at the end. all gone. and it didn't happened in a day. maybe you were okay with that close groups of friends you're with, then the classmates, then the whole bunch of guys you meet, and boyfriend? no need for any elaboration there. and it's also the time when you start saying things like;
bukan niat apa-apa pun. or, bukan buat apa-apa pun.
a very funny quotation i have read somewhere (which i cant remember) is an ustaz replying to this reason normally given by many people out there. "pergi exam hall, lepas tu try tak buat apa-apa. rasenye awak pass tak?" haha. get it? we have manipulated the sentence "tak buat apa-apa" so much. the reason being just to justify that we had done nothing wrong. how much we manipulated the meaning of 'tak buat apa-apa' might be parallel to the amount of fitrah that we have pushed away, filling the empty space left with our nafsu instead.
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and so here is my point for today. it's worrying to see pre-wedding photoshoots nowadays. and even some random portraits of an unmarried couple, just to cherish their 'greatest love of all' in an album. hugging one another from the side, from the back, from all angle for all i care. even those cute piggy-ride backs that makes us go "aww...so cute." and then you realized, "lo,belum kahwin."
it makes me wonder, where does all the sifat malu go? the one we're born with. the one Allah fills up in our heart, body and soul. pre-wedding shoots? wallahua'lam. some were okay. most were not. seeing the pictures, lead me to think, what's left to discover in their marriage?
his favourite food? dah tau. her favourite song? dah tau. what kind of jokes he likes when he is tired? dah tahu. what her hair looks like at home? dah tau. pegang tangan? dah jugak.
the world is in need of hayaa' (malu)
so keep it safe.
cause if we don't, who else will?
“Hayaa does not produce but goodness”
(Bukhari; Muslim)
"If you feel no shame, then do as you wish”
(Sahih Bukhari)
astaghfirullah. for those who might have done one sinful thing or another back in the olden days, be happy to know that we have Allah the All Forgiving. promise ourselves not to do it ever again. be thankful that Allah gives you the opportunity to repent, and keep on praying that the sins we had committed are always washed away.
for those who Allah had Kept away from all these, be thankful that He Kept you clean. and pray that He Keeps you that way. kuatkan iman. banyakkan amal.
marriage and wedding is two different things. pre-wedding shoots might be for your wedding. but all the touching and all-things-wrong-done-in-a-relationship will affect your marriage. i dont know much, but i think i read enough to be confident of these matters.
and for all i know;
instead of touching the non-mahrams literally,
touch their hearts instead. with reminders of Allah.
wallahua'lam.
truly,
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